THE CHATTER

Hi All~

Each day I feel just "that much" stronger....the reason i feel as if I still need a long way to go is something called chatter....this chatter was very loud to me when i first started dating my girlfriend...i was very scared of it and I wanted to know if anyone here has had it.

Basically the chatter starts while I am alone...i could be in the car and i hear a trigger such as a song, or maybe something reminds me of MW...and then my brain goes haywire...I hear her in my head, i start seeing her right here and then I go into a panic because I think everyone can hear her....I beg God to help me...and slowly it goes away...but the effects stay with me for days.

It used to happen 4 times a day..and then slowly it would disappear for days...now it's only happened once or twice in the past month..but it's still there and i hold tight to everything I have done....i try to remove triggers...i call a friend...i play with my dog....anything....

Fortunately it has not happened while I am with my girlfriend because that would be AWFUL!!!!!!!

I also start reminding myself of all the pain I felt over the past few years..and it's nice to see that pain go away now....I do have to say that I just DO NOT miss that pain!!!

Most of all thank you for letting vent here...I need to stay strong and not take any of the recovery for granted!!!

I so hear you, SD! Good job for staying strong.
I am glad that you are here too!
Big hugs and love,
Carolyn