Come Out, Come Out...

Just wondering where everyone is & how ya'll are doin.

I went to a job fair today & applied for a manager's position at a store that is opening in our area. I think I did well. I got three interviews. The they had me take a 200 question test. The girl I went with didn't get the test. They let her go after the interview rounds. So I am going to assume that I must be in some form of consideration for one of the openings to have taken the extra test. Keep your fingers crossed for me.

I still have my plans to open my own studio. I think this may be the means to that. I need to make more money than I am to be able to get the things I need for the studio. The more I can purchase on my own the less I'll have to borrow. I have a session scheduled in the park for senior portraits on Wed. All the proceeds of that sitting will go toward a digital SLR. I am going to do some freelance work part time till I have the money & materials to open my studio. I really think the management training I'll undergo for the store will help me to be able to manage the studio as well. I can work it out that I work my 4 10 hr days at the store & still have 3 to dedicate to photography work. Hopefully this will allow me to establish a solid client base so that once I open the studio I'll be able to fully support it from the client sessions.

So, all in all today was a good day.

Best of luck to you and if you want it you will get it. Keep tackling one issue at a time and eventually you will be there.

It has been a long road for me to get to this point in my life. I still have a long road ahead to get completely back on my feet. I am determined to do just that. Part of my daily life has been dedicated to dealing with the abuse I went through as a child. I know that if I also come to terms with that trauma I'll be able to get past it & be more self confident. I think it has been my insecurity & fear of a real commitment that allowed me to step into the A. Every person in my life that was supposed to be there for me was one who either abused me to allowed me to be abused. MM was the only person in my life that treated me with respect.

You guys have been great at helping me gain my self confidence. You have helped me to explore who I am and my emotions without judgment. I also think dealing with my past will help me to be sure my next relationship is a healthy one. I am no hurry for another relationship, but if someone good comes along I want to see for myself if he is good for me or not, before I get hurt.

Gemini,

There is a book called Real Love by Greg Baer that you might want to read. It talks a lot about the things abuse in our past can cause us to react to in the present and future. Sometimes reading about these things helps me to see how I am reacting to something due to my past and then I am able to identify and make changes. The book helped me and it may help you.

Karen

Thanks MU, I'll look for it at the bookstore next time I'm at the mall. I read the book "The Five Languages of Love" by Gary Chapman. That book helped me to see that what happened to me was not out of love, as I was told, but out of his need to control me. That book also helped me to see how many people really do love me in some way. Yes, friendship is a form of love. I had to learn that there are many forms of love & not the warped & twisted kind I was taught. I didn't realize just how much what I had been through has effected my perception of a relationship & life as a whole. I honestly believe that if it hadn't been for SD urging us to be truly healthy emotionally, I wouldn't have tried to deal with my past. Maybe the A was the tool used to get me to finally deal with my past so that I could really move on to a future I deserve.

Hope everyone is doing well,
May

May,
Real Love is about unconditional love and how we miss seeing it because of all the forms of conditional love we are taught but what we experience. It helped me and I hope you find it and it helps you.

You are right about SD. He helped me a great deal. If it wasn't for him I wouldn't be doing better right now. Sometimes the things he said would make me a little agrivated because it wasn't what I wanted to hear at the time but as time passed so many of things rang true in my head. Lots of things were what I relied on when I was trying (and still am trying) to get myself emotionally better.

I owe SD a lot.

I got it! I got it! I got it! I got the job at the store I applied at. It is contingent on my passing the drug test I took today, but I know I'll pass that with flying colors. I had told them during one of my interviews that I would work where they thought I would be best suited for. They decided I would be best suited to be a price coordinator. Doesn't sound much like, but after thinking it over all day I realized it is a really important job. I would be in charge of putting up all the signs in the store & ensuring the prices on them are accurate. I won't be managing a dept., but I also don't have a boss over me except the store manager. I am so thrilled to be starting a new job. Orientation is on the 21st then off for 2 wks out of town training.

Thanks for all your well wishes & prayers,
May

congrats. Gemini, and I hope that you'll enjoy the new job! peace, songbird

Congrats! That's so awesome! And I think you're lucky because dealing with prices and signage is way better than being a manager and getting blamed when somebody else screws up or calls in sick.

I hope this new job brings you new opportunities, friends, and challenges

May~

I am sooooooooo incredibly hapy for you..if you could just see what your posts look like from this side..you just SOUND happy!

I am soo happy for everyone here..it looks as though we're all working through the pain and we're getting on the other side....damn it feels sooo good...thank you all for your incredible inspiration

Thanks guys, I am happy. In some ways I feel like I'm going backwards & in other ways I feel like I am finally getting on my feet, financially speaking. The job doesn't pay as well as I'd like, but at least it is full time & will give me benefits in a couple of months. I also get a 10% discount on everything I buy there too. I am going to the training with optimism. I want to celebrate but finances prevent me from doing that right now.

My son is going to prom on the 24th. He still hasn't decided who he wants to take yet. His 18th birthday is on the 31st followed by his graduation on the 5th. This year is sailing by soo fast. I want to get my son something special for his graduation & birthday, but I don't see that happening anytime soon. Why does life deal us these cards? I wanna trade in my hand. Anyone got a couple of aces they can spare?

I wish it were as simple as trading in the hand. Sometimes I wish I could just fold out of the game.

Things are looking better for you and we are all very proud of you. Look at the positive side. This job may make it so you can do something extra special for son next year. This year is pretty full of events for him with graduation and prom. Next year things in his life will be much different and what you do then may help him to start his life in a good way.

If I had the Aces I would pass them to you and everyone here.