It's Getting Better All the Time

Hi all~

I know it's been all quiet on the western front....and that could mean that we're all learning how to move forward...to start living again...to start breathing and even loving again!

Think about where you were this time LAST year..you may not think you have moved forward, but you REALLY have.

and as this year comes to a close, I want to wish all of you the very best in the coming year...you are all my inspiration to keep moving forward!!! I cannot thank you enough.

and this week, my girlfriend will meet my entire FAMILY!!!!!! Cross your fingers!

I hope the family meeting went well. If you love her I am sure your famliy will also or did if its already taken place.

The Holidays can be hard for us as we try to move forward. They really bring the point of being alone out to us while we attend events and functions. I don't know about everyone else but its where I see couples and family interaction that makes me think about the things I shouldn't.

In a sense when these things happen I start to feel sorry for myself and think about the MM and how he has his wife to interact with at these types of things.

I don't want to feel sorry for myself. It doesn't help me. I know this year I have to focus on the interaction I have with my family and friends as being positive that I am here and able to participate. It doesn't mean I have to have someone by my side.

All the times shared with MM, I am the only one I can share those memories with. I have to keep them to myself. He isn't there to share with and all those times were secret.

This year I want memories I can share in the future. My sons wife is going to have a baby and in the future when we have family gatherings I the memories to include me as we talk about holidays past. I don't want the child to get older and ask where was Grandma when this happened and it be said she wasn't there. I will know that I wasn't there because I was sneaking off with MM and then his memory will haunt me for that many more years.

I hope all of us can go through these Holidays and come out at the other end with some wonderful memories that we can share with family and friends in the future.

Happy Holidays to All!!!!